AMERICAN FORK, UTAH (June 17, 2004)—With wedding season in high gear, many couples don’t realize they’re at high risk for divorce. In a state dominated by religion, most assume the divorce rate in Utah is low. However, more than 1 in 6 of all Utah couples who marry will divorce before they reach their first anniversary. Why is the divorce rate so high?

David G. Schramm, a researcher for the department of Family, Consumer, and Human Development at Utah State University, is trying to answer this question. In 2002, he began a newlywed study about marital problems in which he surveyed 1,010 couples that had been married an average of six months. The number 3 problem listed by both husbands and wives was difficulties with their sexual relationship. In a follow-up study this year Schramm found that difficulties in these couples’ sexual relationship had risen to their number 2 problem. “The biggest issue with these couples’ sexual relationship is that there is not open and honest communication,” said Schramm. “Sexual intimacy is too much of a ‘taboo’ topic for most couples to talk about. In order for the divorce rate to go down, this needs to change.”

Robert F. Stahmann, Ph.D., chair of the Marriage and Family Therapy graduate programs at BYU, agrees. “I believe many of these sexual difficulties can be prevented by starting a marriage with a healthy sexual relationship based on open communication, unselfishness, and love,” says Stahmann. He believes so strongly in this, that he and two of his colleagues have written and recently released a book about the importance of intimacy in marriage. In the new book, Becoming One: Intimacy in Marriage, by Robert F. Stahmann, Ph.D., Wayne R. Young, M.D., and Julie G. Grover, M.D., the authors state: “This book is written to give you a perspective of how you and your marriage partner are similar and, at the same time different in your physical, sexual, and emotional makeup.”

As the major marriage season in Utah continues, these counselors and physicians hope that this book will generate open and honest discussions between couples about intimacy and sexuality. “There are many different types of intimacy, and being sexual is only one. We hope to give couples the tools necessary to feel comfortable talking about all of them,” says Stahmann.

Becoming One encourages couples to establish a basis for open communication and love by learning the facts about the differing sexual, emotional, social, and spiritual needs of men and women. Becoming One is published by Covenant Communications and can be purchased at Seagull Book and LDS bookstores everywhere.